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1987-10-31
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2KB
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29 lines
ANONYMOUS JONES'
AUSTRALIAN EMIGRATION NEWSLETTER #22
WHUT IT WUZ WUZ WHUT? FOOTBALL?
So there we were late on a Sunday afternoon, peacefully
vegetating in front of the TV screen, tuned to ESPN, when
what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature
field and thirty-six miniature soccer players, BUT... a
curious message insisted that the game was something called
Australian Rules FOOTBALL. Now, folks, we've known since
the obscure dawn of antiquity what football is all about.
We have heard the bard, Andy Griffith, and we have watched
the erudite blatherings of the Cosell, and WE KNOW FOOTBALL.
Only, now we're not so sure. You see, in Australia, the very
FIELD is shaped like a football; none of these squared-off
corners, don't you see? And the players, ALL of the players
advance the ball by KICKING it; using their FEET, don't you
know? When was the last time you saw an NFL tackle actually
KICK the ball? And finally, there is blocking and tackling
and punching and gouging and I don't know what-all, just as
Andy described, and the players ARE NOT WEARING BODY-ARMOR!
So there it is. We here in America have been settling for a
pale washed-out version of True Football all these years.
Emigrate to Australia and you can find the REAL THING!
(C) 1985 by Anonymous Jones. All comments are welcome. Leave
them in the <C>omments Message Base addressed to ANONYMOUS JONES.